O, Oh, Orgasms: Healthy and Fun for Everyone!

We are sexual beings. Second only to our desire for survival, we are hardwired for reproduction. This is why we have developmental hormones and pheromones, those automatic chemicals our bodies emit to help find a mate suitable for reproduction. Part of the magic of reproduction is the act of sexual intercourse itself, with the thunderous, climatic and sometimes elusive ending, the orgasm.

Ah, the orgasm, the Big O, fun, fulfilling, and important to us all. We may be sharing our body with a person for whom we have affection, or desire in a sexual manner, or we may be alone, in a private space and exploring the landscape of our own body, gently touching ourselves while imagining being with the person of our desire. There are others who deny themselves the act of intercourse, self-pleasure, believing it to be something dirty, precious, reserved for marriage, sinful or a distraction from other goals or beliefs.

Orgasms are healthy, particularly for males. A study from 1992-2010 of 32,000 males found that the men who had 21 orgasms per month (ejaculated) were 19% less likely to develop prostate cancer than the men who reported seven orgasms per month. Males who orgasm more often in their 40s are 22% less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer than those who orgasm less. Men who have the fewest orgasms, 0-3 times each month, were found to more often die from other health conditions prematurely.

So have more orgasms, it’s healthy for your whole body and your prostate. Punch the clown, snap the bean, choke the chicken, polish the banister, shuck the corn or be with a partner, just have more orgasms. If your libido is down, see your doctor, you may need some testosterone-replacement therapy.

Ladies, orgasms can be difficult to have. Part of this is because of our anatomy, the clitoris and the g-spot. This is where toys, positioning and foreplay become essential. Yes, females, we are allowed to enjoy sex without being promiscuous, slutty or dirty somehow.

It’s especially important for all of us sisters to experience orgasms. We need those endorphins, they help quiet our minds, and bodies, can bring on relaxation and help to fall asleep. Menstrual cramps troubling you? Have an orgasm. Orgasms can relieve the pain Auntie Flo brings with her. For females having missionary intercourse, not only can this be the most boring, but it also makes it incredibly difficult to have an orgasm. Our clitoris is approximately three inches long and it forks at the end. Having intercourse like a canine or with the female atop the male provides more clitoral stimulation and a better chance at having an orgasm. This is what the males want to accomplish — your pleasure heightens theirs.

Did I mention toys, dildos, vibrators, the rose and the rabbit? These can bring on a thunderous orgasm within minutes of stimulation. If you are not getting what you desire from sex with your partner, I recommend mixing it up and doing some self-exploration to know what gets you aroused. This is also why lesbians, females who are attracted to other females, report experiencing more orgasms than their heterosexual sisters. Ladies, if your libido is low, see your doctor, it may be a hormonal imbalance. It’s important for us post-menopausal gals to get hormone-replacement therapy to protect the integrity of our vaginal canals. We are fortunate to have excellent local providers.

The road to all orgasms begins with excitement and desire. There they are, in all their glory, the person you desire. The mere sight of them stops your breath mid-inhalation. They occupy your private thoughts and dreams. You see them, your face begins to feel flush. Your heart begins to beat a little faster, the butterflies fluttering in your belly, bring a smile and tingle to your midsection. Then you start to become aroused.

Arousal has physiological effects. The body reacts, nipples harden, heart rates increase, blood pressure rises. As the desire intensifies the clitoris and tip of the penis become extremely sensitive, pelvic muscles tense, penis or vulva begin to swell as warm blood rushes in. As your breathing rate increases, sweat may begin. Your bodies clinging together is a rhapsody of sweaty connectedness, there is nothing else happening in the world but this experience as the music of your bodies begins its crescendo into an orgasm.

Then the mighty brain releases the endorphins oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin in a wave coursing through the body, and for 60 seconds (maybe longer) we are helpless, writhing in ecstasy as the muscles around our genital and anal openings, reproductive organs and sphincters spasm and contract, fluids surge out, and a wave of release, comfort and relaxation takes over.

Not all sexual experiences achieve orgasm, and that’s okay. If you don’t believe you have ever experienced one, I recommend some self-discovery. Yes, masturbation — try some toys. When in doubt, self-pleasure. It’s good for your health, physically, mentally, and even emotionally.

This is Hedda Fay encouraging you to have more orgasms in August than in July. They are healthy, natural, expressive and relaxing. We are primates and orgasms are a part of who we are. If you have not had one in so many years you can’t remember, please have one with yourself. You deserve it. You’re worth it!