In October of 1981 the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence observed the first annual Day of Unity, when local and national organizations unite to give voice to survivors and people entrapped in cycles of abuse. Locally we have events that bring attention to the survivors, the still-suffering and the silent.
Domestic violence can create generational trauma, a curse that plagues many a family. Growing up I had my own experience of surviving a violent household. My mother grew up in a home of extreme domestic violence. In the 1950s and up into the ‘80s matters of domestic violence were generally kept between spouses. When police did respond they would often take the man/father out of the home to “sober up,” and charges were rare. My own maternal grandmother was charged with felonious assault when she dared to defend herself with a paring knife in the kitchen. It was not till 1985 that domestic violence was even recognized as a public health problem, as proclaimed by US Surgeon General C. Everett Koop. Can you imagine? I can.
This problem isn’t special to the US, of course. Violence against women by men and same-sex partners has dogged us since creation. This morning I opened my computer to find a headline about Rebecca Cheptegei, a Paris 2024 Olympian. On September 3 a ‘boyfriend’ set her on fire, burning over 75% of her body, and she succumbed to her injuries days later in Eldoret, Kenya.
Violence against women is an equal-opportunist. In 2018 the World Health Organization released its analysis of data from 160 countries, estimating that fully one in three women has been subject to intimate partner or non-partner violence, either physical or sexual in nature.
In the US nearly half of all women have faced or will face physical violence from an intimate partner at some point in their lives. Over 47% of women have encountered sexual violence, physical violence or stalking in their lifetime by an intimate partner. Every minute, 24-32 people in the US experience violence. Men experience it as well, but today’s focus is on my sisters.
Violence rates are high among students who are dating. It’s estimated that intimate-partner violence among younger people illustrates the need for school-based programs.
This violence often spreads to bystanders, who are also victimized. It’s estimated that 30-60% of perpetrators also abuse children in the home. The US Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect has found domestic violence to be the major cause of abuse and neglect fatalities in the nation. Children who are exposed to domestic violence are 15 times more likely to be sexually or physically assaulted than the national average.
Much of this social issue derives from ideas about female inferiority that continue to be reinforced in public and religious sectors. Nationally, women only won the right to vote about 100 years ago with ratification of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution. I know that sounds like a long time, but on the scale of history it’s a nanosecond.
Today there are laws to stop and punish perpetrators of domestic violence, and resources for people experiencing it to find hope and support. In our rural county some reports estimate that 25% of rural women live 40 miles or more from any domestic-violence support agency. In Yavapai County we have amazing local resources: the Yavapai Family Advocacy Center, Stepping Stones, and the Verde Valley Sanctuary. These organizations provide counseling, shelter, medical exams, advocacy and more. The Yavapai County Sheriff’s Office and Prescott Valley Police Department have family-violence units with specially trained staff to respond to these incidents. For law-enforcement officers these calls often pose the largest threat to their own safety.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there is help and support here for you. Please seek it out. Denial is a powerful force, and a bedfellow to violence and fear. Domestic violence can be insidious, and often it starts with just a few unkind words. It’s an equal-opportunist in society, but there is always hope.
I encourage you to get support for yourself or a loved one experiencing domestic violence. Attending community events, learning how you can help or be helped. Together we can stop this. Abuse of anyone is never okay.
Stepping Stones: main 928-772-4184;crisis line 928-445-4673
Verde Valley Sanctuary: crisis line 928-634-2511; toll-free crisis line 800-830-7233
Yavapai Family Advocacy Center: 928-775-0669
Yavapai County Sheriff: 928-771-3260
Prescott Valley Police Family Violence Unit: 928-771-9261
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
AZ Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence: 800-782-6400
National Deaf Hotline offers services for survivors in the deaf and hard-of-hearing community: 855-812-1001
Hedda Fay, the Community Outreach and Program Manager of Northland Cares, answers your questions about sex and sexual health.