A New Year of Self-Care

Happy New Year everyone! May this year ahead be filled with love, laughter, success and amazing memories for you all.

While looking forward, I think it’s also important to reflect on the year behind. I like to look at what I’ve achieved, what I can improve on, and the goals I’ve yet to accomplish. It’s a good time to look at what is serving our spirit, adding joy and support to our lives. Do I have habits that are detrimental to my health and prosperity? Are there things and people that cause me more stress than I wish to handle?

In the winter months, when the sun is low and the nights are longer, we have more time to be with ourselves and process what we need to move forward. One of my goals for this year is to improve my health and reconnect with my body and spirit.

I recently attended a hot-yoga course. Having previously practiced yoga at an ashram in Phoenix, I was unprepared for the profound impact this class had on me. It was challenging, it made me sweat, and it wrecked me in the best possible way.

A friend encouraged me to take this course, and being a fluffier-than-normal person, I haven’t always felt accepted at yoga studios. The Sikhs at the ashram were always accepting and gracious. My friend assured me that this studio would be accepting. There I was, my round shape in yoga pants and a bodysuit, hesitantly walking into what was the most incredible class. It had me connecting with my body through movement, balance, stretching and strength in ways I hadn’t experienced for many seasons.

Relaxing and engaging muscles, focusing on how one movement causes unexpected strain in another part of my body, and breathing into the pose all increase my flexibility. It unlocks pain I thought I had previously resolved. My wise friend gave me a gift that I plan on maximizing in the coming year.

I intend to be focusing on myself. As a full-time student now also working a full-time job, two things I love dearly, I have limited time. I’ve been taking inventory, and I want to recommend that you do the same.

Self-care is not selfish, it’s required. For us to be our very best selves we have to support  who that is and what they need. As we age it’s even more important to do this, as time is relentless and none of us is guaranteed a day beyond this one.

In my short 53 years on this rock we all call home I have had incredible opportunities to experience life, at both its finest and worst. I say that because I’ve learned so much more from my failures than my successes. I appreciate the challenges that setbacks offer me. They offer me opportunities to adapt, think outside the box, and learn that in life the C or D plan may have been the right one all along. I’ve learned that everyone is your friend when the sun is shining brightly, but when it’s cold and dark you realize who really cares.

Some of us faced huge challenges this past year. Things didn’t turn out as we hoped, but whatever the circumstance, do not quit! Don’t give up on that dream, even if it will take you a little longer to get there. You have the time.

I honestly believe in life there is nothing so terrible that no good can come of it. It may be unexpected. It may be something you don’t yet realize. Trust that something good will grow from it, if you let it. Look at the flowers and nature, the beautiful plants that rise out of dirt and poop. They can grow and be nourished by it, and so can you!

If you’ve had challenges, get in touch with yourself. Take inventory. What causes you stress? Is it something you can leave behind while moving forward into 2025? Are there people in your life who bring out your anger, know what buttons to push, and bring more drama to your life than peace? Are these people worth the anger and frustration you feel when in their company? Is it family? Friends? It’s time for you to prioritize yourself, too.

Perhaps it’s time to remove some of these people from your life or minimize your time with them. When you do cut some of them out, they may get upset. Focus on you and your goals. One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that the simple act of no longer calling or engaging with them will cause these people to remove themselves from your circle. Let this year be your year.

I know this isn’t my typical sexual-health column, but hey, if you’re not taking care of  yourself, it will have negative effects on your sex life. Make sure that self-care — mental, physical and emotional — is your top priority.

This is Hedda Fay, reminding you that you’ll spend the rest of your life with yourself. Be your best cheerleader, support and friend. Say nice things to yourself and eliminate things and people who don’t support your happiness and joy. Don’t ever give up on yourself or your dreams. With love and support, make 2025 your best year on this rock too!