Posts Tagged ‘Markoff Chaney’

  • 12 steps from Prescott: Prescott is your portal to … well, anything

    Mar 31, 17 • ndemarino • 5enses, FeatureNo CommentsRead More »

    By Markoff Chaney It’s 2 a.m. and you’re reading a Wikipedia entry entitled “List of people who have declined a British honour.” Wait — how’d you get here? Weren’t you looking for info about how telescopes work? And what’s Sir Alfred Hitchcock doing on a list of people who’ve rejected the title?! As someone or other once said, “everything’s connected … especially on Wikipedia.” There’s a (practically) endless source of (partially vetted, mostly true) information just a few swipes and/or clicks away. But where to begin? How about at home, right here in Prescott. Using the Wikipedia article on “Prescott, Arizona” as your starting point, you can take a tour of tangentially related art, science, history, philosophy, economics, and even the film career of Christopher Lee. Tribes, plants, & seaman 1. Yavapai-Prescott Tribe 2. Indian Reorganization Act 3. John Collier 4. John Collier Jr. 5. San Francisco Art Institute 6. Dogpatch, San Francisco 7. Dogfennel (links to Anthemis) 8. Cultivar 9. Plant Breeders 10. Genetically Modified Food Controversies 11. Greenpeace 12. Sailormongering History, slurs, & fast food economics 1. Arizona Territory 2. Gadsden Purchase 3. Franklin Pierce 4. Historical rankings of presidents of the United States 5. James Buchanan 6. Doughface 7. Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr. 8. Imperial presidency 9. Economic globalization 10. Cultural globalization 11. Big Mac Index 12. KFC Index Pros, prose, & political advisors 1. Red-light district

  • There’s no time like the present … except for maybe 1917

    Dec 30, 16 • ndemarino • 5enses, FeatureNo CommentsRead More »

    By Markoff Chaney By now, you’re probably sick of holidays and those inevitable (and inevitably redundant and/or boring) “Year in Review” and “Top Stories of the Year” articles. Don’t pretend you’ve kept up with the papers. You’ve probably started the New Year with a stack of old news that would make the Collyer brothers balk. Instead of recapping recent events, let’s look toward the future … by looking back a century. Here’s a highly partial, by-no-means complete list of famous, infamous, or otherwise noteworthy 100-year anniversaries to ponder in 2017. (And for Alert Readers, yes, this is a nearly identical intro to a similarly themed piece for the January 2015 and January 2016 issues of 5enses. Was it any less effective?)   ***** January, 1917 • J.R.R. Tolkien begins writing “The Book of Lost Tales,” the first draft of what later becomes “The Silmarillion.” January 10, 1917 • William F. Cody (“Buffalo Bill”) dies. (Was born in 1846.) March 2, 1917 • The enactment of the Jones Act grants Puerto Ricans U.S. citizenship. March 4, 1917 • Jeannette Rankin, of Montana, becomes the first woman member of the U.S. House of Representatives. March 7, 1917 • “Livery Stable Blues,” recorded by the Original Dixieland Jass Band, becomes the first commercially released jazz recording. April 1, 1917 • Scott Joplin, ragtime pianist, dies. (Was born in 1867 or 1868.) April 14,

  • En route: Amusing finds from an unamusing profession

    Sep 30, 16 • ndemarino • 5enses, FeatureNo CommentsRead More »

    By Markoff Chaney It’s happened 46 times. Usually at night. Once a month, for the last 46 months, I’ve trolled Prescott, Prescott Valley, Chino Valley, and Dewey-Humboldt delivering newspapers. Even went out Mayer-way twice. Newspaper delivery is boring. Absolutely necessary, but absolutely boring. And — despite some amusing podcasts and rambling conversations with friends brave/bored enough to tag along — most of those nights blur together. Some things stick out, though. Especially when you step on them. And I mean things. For your consideration, here are a few of the things I’ve found while out and about the enigmatic Quad Cities. … ***** • Thor’s hammer An accessory for a kid’s toy, only really heavy and detailed. OK, so an accessory for an adult’s toy. • Shopping lists They’re ubiquitous, and not just near grocery stores. Most of them were jotted in pen on paper. (Editor’s Note: Cooking is an art, so is a grocery list considered an artistic creation? That would mean it should be “is” not “were” in the second sentence of this bullet per the rules about the literary present tense.) A trio of memorable items: “funeral card for mom,” “bear,” and “one package flower [sic].” • A miniature American flag These are quite common in July, but this one was found in December or January last year. • Plywood with a tiger print Special thanks to

  • Ray Gunned: Markoff Chaney pays homage to David Carson

    Apr 1, 16 • ndemarino • 5enses, Feature17 CommentsRead More »

    By Markoff Chaney [Editor’s Note: Font-dependent satire works better on paper. If you’re curious and can’t get a hold of a copy of the 2016-04 issue of 5enses, check it out via our uploads at ISSUU.] ***** Markoff Chaney is an Earth-based whodunit pundit and (Fnord) Discordian Pope. He has lotsa bills and no sense. Contact him at NoisyNoiseIsNoisome@Gmail.Com

  • … finish each other’s sentences: Google’s autocomplete is …

    Feb 5, 16 • ndemarino • 5enses, FeatureNo CommentsRead More »

    By Markoff Chaney I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I have the Internet at home. Not the whole thing, obviously, but I can check on it anytime I want via the same computer I’m typing at right now. Pretty nifty, huh? Anyway, I just found out about this amazing digital oracle called Google (who names these things?) and, apparently, it knows what I’m going to research or “search” for before I finish typing it. Here are some recent highlights. …     ***** Markoff Chaney is an Earth-based whodunit pundit and (Fnord) Discordian Pope. He has lotsa bills and no sense. Contact him at NoisyNoiseIsNoisome@Gmail.Com

  • There’s no time like the present: … except for maybe 1916, or maybe 1966

    Jan 1, 16 • ndemarino • 5enses, FeatureNo CommentsRead More »

    By Markoff Chaney By now, you’re probably sick of holidays and those inevitable (and inevitably redundant and/or boring) “Year in Review” and “Top Stories of the Year” articles. Don’t pretend you’ve kept up with the papers. You’ve probably started the New Year with a stack of old news that would make the Collyer brothers balk. Instead of recapping recent events, let’s look toward the future … by looking back a century. Here’s a highly partial, by-no-means complete list of famous, infamous, or otherwise noteworthy 100-year anniversaries to ponder in 2016. (And for alert readers, yes, this is a nearly identical intro to a similarly themed piece for the January 2015 of 5enses. Was it any less effective?)   Jan. 24, 1916 • In Browning, Montana, the temperature drops from 44 F to -56 F in one day, the greatest change ever on record for a 24-hour period in the U.S. and world at large. Feb. 9, 1916 • At 6 p.m., a monocle-clad Tristan Tzara enters the Cabaret Voltaire stage singing sentimental melodies and handing paper wads to “scandalized spectators,” yielding the stage to masked actors on stilts, returning in clown attire thus founding the Dadaism art movement, according to Hans Arp. Feb. 28, 1916 • American expat and novelist Henry James dies of a stroke at age 72. March 7, 1916 • In Munich, Germany Die Bayerischen Motoren Werke

  • Every thing & everything else: The Art of Dana Cohn

    Dec 4, 15 • ndemarino • 5enses, PortfolioNo CommentsRead More »

    By Markoff Chaney A story goes here, but I didn’t write it. It’s not that I didn’t try. I swear I did. I met with Dana Cohn once a month for half a year in pursuit of this. There’s so much to tell but as far as writing goes — and I’m butchering an Ira Glass quote here, so bear with me — my taste exceeds my ability. (See? Less than a hundred words in, and I’ve already invoked a tangential reference (and am using parenthesis gymnastics to explain said reference) despite self-reference and having forgotten that if I can count the words then I should use “fewer” not “less” in this aside, even though the latter is more conversational (as well as the larger issue of my flagrant abuse of the first person (Plus I’m not sure how the use of em dashes affects otherwise necessary commas)).) And, of course, there’s that giant run-on sentence I just wrote. Maybe you should just read my notes. … 2015-05 8 a.m. @ dana’s studio smoking cigarettes and gardening outside. Lots of plants. Big smile. “Hey man, come on in.” talkedabout plant.s STUDIO front room of apartment is his studio tracing paper, sketches, photos, on wall pieces of wood, shells feathers, nature. Plus saints, Greek statues, “It’s a prototype. Kind of a guide for it.” “it” — the big painting on the

  • Found in translation: Experience Prescott through the eyes of robot translators

    Apr 3, 15 • ndemarino • 5enses, Feature2,374 CommentsRead More »

    By Markoff Chaney It’s in poor taste to patronize free services. Still, any product that touts its efficacy and authority is probably fair game for satire. That’s doubly true when the company behind the service unabashedly mines your inputs for every cent they’re worth. Given that flimsy rationalization, let’s have some fun with Google Translate. … ***** Source material: “Prescott: Everyone’s Hometown.” Process:  English to Arabic, Arabic to Yiddish, Yiddish to English. Result: “Preskott: Muscat everyone.” ***** Source material: “Prescott: True West, Real Adventure.” Process:  English to Bengali, Bengali to Zulu, Zulu to Dutch, Dutch to Gujarati, Gujarati to Icelandic, Icelandic to English. Result: “Prescott: West course Adventure Time.” ***** Source material: “Prescott usually has unusually pleasant weather.” Process:  English to Haitian, Haitian to Hausa, Hausa to Hebrew, Hebrew to Hindi, Hindi to Hmong, Hmong to Hungarian, Hungarian to English. Result: “Prescott generally good time.” ***** Source material: “Some things, such as this nifty sentence, are best left to professional translators, right?” Process: English to Chinese, Chinese to Korean, Korean to Japanese, Japanese to English. Result: “Beautiful sentences, such as, the best of several such things in a professional translator, right? ***** Source material: “I trust Google for accurate, nuanced translations.” Process: English to Serbian, Serbian to Catalan, Catalan to English. Result: “I think Google needs interpretation, nuanced.” ***** Markoff Chaney is an Earth-based whodunit pundit and (Fnord) Discordian Pope

  • A slice of π: An irrational approximation of a speech in honor of March 14 (aka Pi Day)

    Mar 6, 15 • ndemarino • 5enses, Feature24 CommentsRead More »

    By Markoff Chaney 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… ***** Markoff Chaney is an Earth-based whodunit pundit and (Fnord) Discordian Pope. He has lotsa bills and no sense. Contact him at NoisyNoiseIsNoisome@Gmail.Com

  • There’s no time like the present: … except for maybe 1915

    Jan 2, 15 • ndemarino • 5enses, Feature18 CommentsRead More »

    By Markoff Chaney By now, you’re probably sick of holidays and those inevitable (and inevitably redundant and/or boring) “Year in Review” and “Top Stories of the Year” articles. Don’t pretend you’ve kept up with the papers. You’ve probably started the New Year with a stack of old news that would make the Collyer brothers balk. Instead of recapping recent events, let’s look toward the future … by looking back a century. Here’s a highly partial, by-no-means complete list of famous, infamous, or otherwise noteworthy 100-year anniversaries to ponder in 2015. In January, 1915 … • Jan. 12: The House of Representatives rejected a proposal to give women the right to vote. • Jan. 19: Georges Claude got the patent for the device that makes neon advertisements possible. • Jan. 25: Alexander Graham Bell called his former assistant Thomas A. Watson on the first coast-to-coast long distance call. • Jan. 26: Congress established Rocky Mountain National Park. In February, 1915 … • Feb. 27: Typhoid Mary infected 25 people while working as a cook at New York’s Sloane Hospital for Women. She was quarantined for life on March 27. In March, 1915 … • This month: A plague of locusts broke out in Palestine that lasts through October. • March 3: The National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics, the predecessor of NASA, was founded. • March 19: Pluto was photographed for the

Celebrating art and science in Greater Prescott.

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